God is looking for a partner. Are you His?

A common controversial biblical topic is the idea that women must be subservient to their husbands. Today's worldly wisdom is that women are their husband's partners, equal to them. Unpopular Opinion: They're not wrong. Either one.

Today's reading in Ephesians (5:21-32) fully explains what is so often misinterpreted and taken so far out of context as to be an unchristian teaching. Most people only read verse 24: "As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything." They leave it at that, and believe that women should say and do everything their husband tells them to do, even if it's abusive or harmful. They think that is the Christian view of a marriage. And for centuries, that was the way society presented a Christian marriage, and why women were forced to stay in an awful situation, and how those awful husbands justified their awful actions.

Instead, the reading is much more than just telling women to know their place. The reading is actually a beautiful connection between the relationship of the everyday church parishioner and God, liking it to the marriage of a husband and wife. It states what makes up a healthy relationship, and it even provides examples.

A healthy marriage is when a woman finds a husband who loves her so much that

he treats her well, encourages and supports her, has good judgement and takes her best interests to heart. He would do anything and give anything to her within his power to give, as long as it won't harm her in any way. He loves her too much to allow harm to befall her. And in return she feels that love, support and encouragement. Which empowers her to be her best self, knowing he has her back. She understands that everything he does is for her benefit or for the benefit of their relationship. Knowing this, allows her to defer to his judgment because she knows he will not allow harm to come to her and she is safe. They are a team with an equal give and take.

Where today's wisdom comes into play is when the healthy marriage above fails. When the woman doesn't trust the husband do uphold his portion of the partnership. How can she let her guard down if she can't trust him to act in her

best interest? She must, therefore, take up the husband's role and make her own decisions and judgments. This way, she can take care of herself to be sure she is safe and stays unharmed. It removes the husband's role from the equation, and has each person looking out for themselves. The relationship is doomed to fail.

The healthy marriage is the relationship God wants to have with us. God's role in the marriage is that of the husband. He loves us so much that he gave us his only son. God didn't just create love, he IS love. In our role as the body of the Church and as his disciples, we are the wife in the marriage. We are meant to defer to his decisions, laws and judgements. Our role in the relationship is to trust in Him completely, because we know he loves us and supports us. He wants us to live and be happy. He wants us to have everlasting life with him. We can do this because we know we are safe with God, we know we will be properly taken care of and not let down by him. To give that surrender is not to give up, but to let go, knowing that God will always catch us if we start to fall.

Part of the way we show this trust is by being proactive in our relationship with Him. Ever hear of the parable of the flood with the guy standing on his roof? He turns down 3 boats telling them that God will save him. When he dies, he asks God why wasn't he saved? God tells him that he sent 3 boats to save him... A relationship is a two way street. We expect God to help and support us, to love us and provide for us. But we also have to be an active participant in the relationship. We have to take the opportunities he provides us, use tools he gives us, and do what we can to make our lives (both spiritual and in society) the best lives we can create, and help others to do the same.

God is looking for a partner, a spouse. Are you His?